GOALLLLL!
Now that FIFA has come to an end, GO SPAIN! Some new goals to look for should be realistic. In this article, I will break down strategies, reasons, and the outcomes that arise from setting attainable goals rather than harping on unrealistic ones.
The Goal Is the Goal … But What Is the Goal?
Goals are everywhere. Lose weight. Save money. Get the promotion. Exercise every day. Read more. Stress less. Become a completely new person by next Tuesday. It can feel like society is constantly handing us a checklist for a better life, and somehow we are expected to complete it while also working, parenting, maintaining relationships, sleeping eight hours, and remembering to drink enough water. No wonder goals can sometimes feel less motivating and more like another person yelling from the sidelines!
Dream Big, But Start Small
Psychological research does support the value of goal setting, but the important part is how the goal is created. Goal-setting theory, developed through decades of research by Edwin Locke and Gary Latham, has found that specific and challenging goals can improve motivation and performance compared with vague goals. However, challenging does not mean impossible. A goal still needs to be something a person is willing and able to pursue, and commitment matters in the process. In other words, there is a difference between saying, “I want to improve my mental health,” and saying, “I will take a 20-minute walk three evenings this week to give myself time away from work and my phone.” The first is a nice thought. The second gives your brain something to actually do.
The Problem With the Perfect Goal
The problem with unrealistic goals is not always that we fail to achieve them. Sometimes the bigger problem is what happens in our heads after we fail. If a person decides they will exercise seven days a week, eat perfectly, never procrastinate, and completely eliminate stress, then one missed workout or one stressful day can feel like a total collapse. This creates an all-or-nothing mindset: I failed today, so I might as well quit completely. Realistic goals give us room to be human. Life is going to interrupt the plan. There will be bad weather, unexpected responsibilities, tired mornings, and those days when the couch somehow becomes the most comfortable place on Earth.
Make a Plan for the Goal
One strategy supported by psychological research is called an implementation intention, or an “if-then” plan. Instead of only deciding what you want to accomplish, you connect the goal to a specific situation: “If it is 6:00 p.m. on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, then I will take my walk.” This may sound almost too simple, but research suggests that these specific plans can help people turn intentions into actions. A meta-analysis of 29 experimental studies involving clinical and analogue samples found that implementation intentions were associated with improved goal attainment, although the researchers also noted that additional research is needed across a wider range of mental health problems. The point is that goals work better when they have a road map attached to them.
Your Goal Should Actually Belong to You
Another important question is whether the goal is actually yours. Sometimes we set goals because we genuinely want something, and sometimes we set them because we think we are supposed to want them. Social media can make this especially complicated. We see someone else's house, body, career, vacation, relationship, or morning routine and suddenly decide that our own life needs a complete renovation. But a goal that comes from comparison may not be a goal that fits our values. Research on personal goals has found that self-concordant goals—goals that align more closely with a person's interests and values—are associated with greater goal progress. So before asking, “How do I reach this goal?” it may be worth asking, “Why do I want this goal in the first place?”
Progress Is Not a Straight Line
This is where I think realistic goal setting becomes especially important for mental health. The purpose of a goal should not be to create another reason to criticize yourself. A goal is supposed to give direction. If the goal is to improve your mental health, perhaps the goal is not “I will never feel anxious again.” That is a nearly impossible promise to make. Instead, the goal might be “I will learn two coping strategies that I can use when anxiety increases.” If the goal is to improve relationships, perhaps it is not “I will never argue with my partner again.” Maybe it is “When we disagree, I will try to pause before responding.” These goals do not promise perfection. They create opportunities for practice.
GOAL!
Setting realistic goals does not mean thinking small. It means thinking clearly. Research shows that goal setting can support behavior change, and strategies such as specific goals, implementation intentions, and goals that fit our own values can make the process more useful. The goal is not to become a completely different person overnight. The goal is to identify where you want to go and then figure out the next step that you can realistically take.
So, GOALLLLLLLLL! Pick something that matters to you. Make it specific. Break it into pieces. Plan for the obstacles. Give yourself permission to adjust when life changes. Most importantly, remember that missing a goal does not mean you are a failure. Sometimes it simply means the goal needs to be reconsidered, resized, or approached from a different direction. Even the best soccer teams do not score every time they take a shot. The point is to keep playing the game—and to make sure the goal you are chasing is actually one you want to reach.
References
Locke, E. A., & Latham, G. P. (2002). Building a practically useful theory of goal setting and task motivation: A 35-year odyssey. American Psychologist, 57(9), 705–717. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.57.9.705
Sheeran, P., Webb, T. L., & Gollwitzer, P. M. (2005). The interplay between goal intentions and implementation intentions. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 31(1), 87–98. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167204271308
Toli, A., Webb, T. L., & Hardy, G. E. (2016). Does forming implementation intentions help people with mental health problems to achieve goals? A meta-analysis of experimental studies with clinical and analogue samples. British Journal of Clinical Psychology, 55(1), 69–90. https://doi.org/10.1111/bjc.12086
Sheldon, K. M., & Elliot, A. J. (1999). Goal striving, need satisfaction, and longitudinal well-being: The self-concordance model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76(3), 482–497. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.76.3.482
Webb, T. L., & Sheeran, P. (2006). Does changing behavioral intentions engender behavior change? A meta-analysis of the experimental evidence. Psychological Bulletin, 132(2), 249–268. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.132.2.249
Wang, G., Wang, Y., & Gai, X. (2021). A meta-analysis of the effects of mental contrasting with implementation intentions on goal attainment. Frontiers in Psychology, 12, 565202. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.565202
