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Sometimes people can perceive life through a fun house mirror. This mirror distorts reality and rational thoughts into negativity, which creates unhealthy patterns and can contribute to mental health difficulties. In this article, I will lay out some of the most common cognitive distortions and how to combat specific forms of negative thinking. Remember, the first step in fixing a problem is realizing there is one.

Welcome to the Fun House

Our brains are incredibly useful, but that does not mean they are perfect. Sometimes the brain takes a situation, adds a little stress, a little fear, and maybe a dash of insecurity, and suddenly we have a full five-course meal of negativity. One person does not text back and we think they hate us. We make one mistake at work and decide we are terrible at our jobs. We receive one bad grade and suddenly our entire academic career has apparently ended.

These thoughts can feel completely true in the moment. However, feeling that a thought is true is not the same thing as having evidence that it is true. Cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, is built around examining the connections among thoughts, emotions, and behaviors and learning to evaluate unhelpful thinking patterns. A meta-analysis of 26 studies found CBT had a moderate effect on dysfunctional thinking compared with control conditions, and changes in dysfunctional thinking were strongly associated with changes in depression. (Lorenzo-Luaces et al., 2015)

All-or-Nothing Thinking: The Mental Light Switch

One common distortion is all-or-nothing thinking. Everything is either perfect or a disaster. There is no middle ground, no gray area, and apparently no room for being a normal human being.

“I got an A, so I am successful.”
“I got a C, so I am a failure.”
“I had one healthy meal, so I am finally getting my life together.”
“I ate pizza, so I ruined everything.”

The problem is that life rarely operates like a light switch. Most things exist on a dimmer. Instead of asking whether something was perfect, try asking whether it was useful, meaningful, or better than before. A single mistake does not erase every successful thing you have done before it.

Mind Reading and Fortune Telling: Two Things Your Brain Cannot Actually Do

Have you ever looked at someone’s facial expression and immediately decided what they were thinking? “They look annoyed, so they must be mad at me.” Or perhaps you have predicted the future: “I know this presentation is going to go terribly.”

Welcome to mind reading and fortune telling.

The problem is that neither is a supernatural ability. We are making an assumption and treating it like a fact. Instead, try adding the words “I think” before the thought. “I think they are annoyed with me” sounds very different from “They are annoyed with me.” The first leaves room for another explanation. Maybe they are tired. Maybe they are thinking about something completely unrelated. Maybe they are just making a face because they drank coffee that was far too hot.

The goal is not to assume everything is positive. It is to remember that you do not have access to every person’s thoughts or every future event.

The Mental Filter: When Your Brain Becomes a Critic

Another distortion occurs when we focus heavily on the negative parts of an experience while ignoring everything else. Imagine receiving ten compliments and one criticism. Which one do you remember at 11:00 that night? Exactly. Somehow the one negative comment has purchased a permanent residence in your brain.

This does not mean negative feedback should be ignored. Feedback can help us improve. The issue is when one negative detail becomes the only detail we can see. Try asking yourself, “What else is true?” If you made a mistake, what else went well? If someone criticized your work, did anyone else provide positive feedback? If you had a bad day, did that mean every moment of the day was bad? Sometimes the brain needs to be reminded that one bad chapter is not the entire book.

Personalization: Not Everything Is About You

Personalization happens when we automatically assume that something is our fault or that another person’s behavior is about us. Your friend is quiet? They must be mad at you. Your coworker walks past without saying hello? You must have done something wrong. Someone cancels plans? Obviously, you are the problem.

Sometimes we are responsible. Sometimes we are not. The healthier approach is to separate responsibility from assumption. Ask yourself: “What evidence do I actually have?” If the evidence is limited, give yourself permission to wait before reaching a conclusion. You may discover that your friend was simply exhausted, your coworker was distracted, and your canceled plans had nothing to do with you at all.

Change the Thought, Not Reality

The goal of challenging cognitive distortions is not to turn every negative thought into a positive affirmation. “I am the greatest person alive!” may feel just as unrealistic as “I am a complete failure.” Instead, cognitive restructuring aims for a more balanced and evidence-based thought.

Try this simple process: What happened? What did I immediately think? What emotion followed? What evidence supports my thought? What evidence does not support it? What is another reasonable explanation? What would I tell a friend in the same situation?

These questions can slow down the automatic reaction and create room for a more accurate interpretation. A 2021 network meta-analysis of 45 studies found cognitive restructuring, behavioral activation, and CBT were effective compared with usual care or waiting lists for adult depression. (Ciharova et al., 2021)

Your Brain Is Powerful, Not Perfect

Your brain is not your enemy. It is trying to protect you, predict problems, and make sense of an enormous amount of information. Sometimes, though, it gets a little overconfident. It fills in blanks, jumps ahead, focuses on threats, and turns one awkward moment into a documentary series.

The good news is that thoughts can be examined. You do not have to believe every thought simply because it appeared in your head.

So the next time your brain hands you a negative thought, pause. Ask what evidence you have. Look for the gray area. Consider another explanation. And most importantly, remember that changing negative thinking is a practice, not a one-day project.

The first step in fixing a problem really is realizing there is one. The second step is realizing that the problem does not have to run the show.

References

• Lorenzo-Luaces, L., German, R. E., & DeRubeis, R. J. (2015). The effects of cognitive behavior therapy for adult depression on dysfunctional thinking: A meta-analysis. Psychological Medicine, 45(15), 3145–3154. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26319193/
• Ciharova, M., et al. (2021). Cognitive restructuring, behavioral activation and cognitive-behavioral therapy in the treatment of adult depression: A network meta-analysis. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 89(6), 563–574. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34264703/
• Beck, J. S. (2020). Cognitive behavior therapy: Basics and beyond (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.
• Unsplash — Distorted mirror photography, man in gold and brown robe holding black and silver dslr camera